Can Water Go Stale?

Last night, Ron and I were sitting by the bar with our backs leaned against the edge. 5 whiskies and 2 wines later, I turned to catch the bartender’s attention.

Ron:
Want another one?

Me:
Not for awhile man.. Hooooo! I need water..
Excuse me, could I get a glass of water?
(5 seconds later, the glass was filled. But the bartender placed it directly in front of the person sitting next to me. Geez.. I swiped it and took a big gulp.)

Me:
Hmmmm…

Ron:
What’s wrong?

Me:
This water tastes ba…..d. (crinkling up my nose as I smelt it)

Ron:
What do you mean bad?

Me:
I don’t know… something’s off, Ron.. Maybe the glass was dirty. It tastes stale.. Argh fuck it, I’m drunk, and I’m fucking thirsty.
(gulp, gulp, gulp..)
Shit man, that was gross. I think there is something seriously wrong with it.
(looking annoyed)
There’s still a sip left. Smell it?

Bartender:
Excuse me miss?

Me:
Yeah?

Bartender:
That wasn’t yours.

Me:
Huh? Oh, but it’s JUST water..

Bartender:
That was vodka.

Member of the Coldplay Clan

I loved Coldplay since their debut album, Parachutes. I was one of those who counted down the days leading the release of their second, A Rush of Blood to the Head.


Quite frankly, I don’t consider them to be musical geniuses. YET. But I do obsess over the pumped up melodies and the unique richness of their sound. I’m no musical expert. I just know I still love their music.

11th July 2006: Coldplay (X&Y tour) comes to Singapore.

I got a Free standing ticket.. My friends were in line early enough for me to position myself no further than 4 meters away from the stage.
the concert here didn’t fall short of expectations.

Some brief Highlights:

-the opening: Square One.



-I took a mental picture of what shade of blue his eyes were. yes, i was THAT close.



-All his signature moves I watched previously on youtube. The flinging arms, the intense rocking on his piano stool as he pounded the keys…



-some idiots were permanently filming video clips and taking snapshots throughout the performance with their mobile phones and cameras. And I mean like, for every, single song. I cracked up when Chris Martin pulled out a disposable Kodak camera and started taking pictures of the fans. He flung the camera in our direction. It seemed to have landed 3 feet away from me, but I couldn’t make out who got a hold of it.

-a few bars into "Yellow", huge yellow balloons floated from behind us, over the standing crowd’s heads. A couple made their way onto the stage. Chris swung his guitar, burst them probably with its head and tuning pegs and set gold confetti free. That motivated the fans to do the same. It was awesome. I’m going to feel stupid next week for keeping the ones that fell in my blouse and bag.



-the encore was obviously staged, because I knew they couldn’t have left without “FIXing YOU”. A pity the lamp was the one that needed fixing. He still proceeded with his usual swinging of the suspended lamp. The bulb was blown, but we didn’t care, Coldplay generated enough heat to fire us up all night.

Language gone Loco Part IV

I went to East Coast Beach with a bunch of friends yesterday. After dinner, Melvin felt like an ice cream from McDonald’s.
He walked up to the express counter.

Melvin:
Can I get a chocolate sundae?

Counter Attendant:
Here water water… go there.. (pointing to the main counter)

Melvin:
But I just want an ice cream. What water?

Counter Attendant:
Water water!

Melvin:
Erm.. One chocolate sundae please?

Counter Attendant:
Here water water!!

Melvin:
(he looks around. Obviously the express counter sold ice cream, drinks… etc.)
Look, I don’t understand what you’re saying.. I just want my ice cream.

(Counter Attendant went to the machine and made him a cup)

Counter Attendant:
See? Water water!

*He came back with his cup of ice cream, explained why he couldn’t get a cone....
and DRANK up his dessert.

Language gone Loco Part III

A few hours ago…

Lola and I were on MSN at work during lunch time. I almost passed out laughing. After regaining consciousness, I just knew this had to be part of the “Language Gone Loco series”.
It’s not easy blogging now.. even my fingers are still laughing.

Portions in italics are overheard conversations in Lola's workplace.

Lola:
Bloody babis bising.. making so much noise. (babis=pigs in malay. derogatory term for Chinese)

Me:
Hahaha.. you sounding like me now..

Lola:
gimme 3 mins.. gonna shut them up.

Me:
here too.. i stuck my i-nano in my ears

Lola:
i cannot tahan.. (translation: i can't take it)

Me:
hahaha

Lola:
goshhh... they way they are talking..

SEaaafoooddd Hooorrr... u know horrr... i dun eat this and this and this.. and then horrr...
but fish hor.. i can consider lahhh!
meaning when i say fish.. must be the sea one lahhh!

Me:
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Lola:
i dun like the pond pond what.. if a bit horr.. i will eat lahhh!

Me:
Wait… What’s pond pond???



Lola:
freshwater fish must be?

Me:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Oh god!!! I’m dying here!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
give me a moment!!! let me get up from the floor!!!

Lola:
kekeke

Me:
tell me more!

Lola:
yes.. u wanna hear more?

eeehhh.. ciakkk leeehhh..
hor sekkk? cek pou...
whyyy whyy?
that means horrr??
OOOOOHhh i eat a lot already..

Me:
Huh???

Lola:
dunnno! I’m just typing what i hear..

Me:
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
tell me more!!!

Lola:
i think its cantonese...

somebody is eating something very nice.. WHoo ahhh? whoo?
*irritating laughter follows..*”

sorry me tired of typing..

Me:
tell me!!!!

Lola:
hahaha now they talking about chapati

Me:
wah.. they know chapatti??
Do they say.. CHAR PA TEE??

Lola:
cos an indian girl just join the conversation..
SO after chapati.. now they talking about roti prata

Me:
Hahahaha.. LOTI PLATA???

Lola:
dun like chapati meaans u like loti plaaata...

Me:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lola:
yes.

Me:
i hit the nail on the head!!!!

Lola:
they pronounce it that way.

Me:
FUCK!

Lola:
LLLOOOOO-TIIIII PLA-TAAA

Me:
HAHAHAHA
i was just making fun.. they really fucking said that?
HAHAHAHAHAHA

Lola:
yes.
yes.
yes.
u can imagine my pain.

Me:
YES! but it's fucking entertaining for me

Lola:
and i just had masala thosai

Me:
transcribe more!

Lola:
maybe i should change topic..
enough.. now all babis go toilet break
all quiet.

Me:
HAHAHAHAHA

Lola:
all quiet.

Me:
HAHAHAHAHA

Lola:
they go toilet also in a pack.
i dun understand.

Me:
hahahahha
they go pee in the pond pond
pond pond.. i'm still dying on that one
this is going on my bhujia blog. NNNOW!

Lola:
i am in pain.

Me:
i understand.. haha

Lola:
ooohhh they are backkkk!
i can hear em!

Me:
tell me!!!!
if i were you, i wouldn't be able to control myself.. i'll just laugh!!
quick! quick! tell me more!

Lola:
hahaha
ok now i can't hear a thing except for drawers slamming shut..

Me:
fuck.. it's so quiet here.. almost everyone has gone for lunch.. i'm laughing so loud..
drawers?

Lola:
EEEEHH.. ni ci tao... hor... wo love the sald bar at sizzlessss
they got a lot of stuff hor?
sometime i dun order the meal...
just order the salad can ready..

Me:
wait.. what is ni ci tao

Lola:
ni ci tao = you know..
or do u know?

Me:
oh ok.. go on

Lola:
now they are complaining about the men who just walk in..
she is telling him
u men hor... haiiyahh..
this one dun eat, that one dun eat so troublesome one..
next time no need to bring already..

Me:
hahahahahhahahahahha

Lola:
i am listening in to the conversation on intensely..
like i am transcibing for court..
EEEHHH shhhittt..

Me:
hahaha.. yeah! tell me more!

Lola:
chapati got white one mehhhh?
Is it thoooooseeeeehhhh!
maybe thoooseee is it u talking

Me:
hahahaha!!!!!!

Lola:
next time i bring u go to that store ahhh.. u see the colour hor.. its white one horrrrrr.... i teeell u it is real!
white chapati..
when i say white it doesn't mean school shoe white..
u think "salah-ly" already



Me:
HAHHAHAHA
oh fuck!!!
i'm telling you.. i'm laughing so loud. "school shoe white" HAHAHAHA!!!!

Lola:
ok wait.. me picking up conversation about boyfriends..

Me:
yay.. tell me!!
i'm laughing so hard i'm sweating!

Lola:
u know ahhh... i told him so many times to call me.. call me..callll me..
still never never..
i tell u i dun TALK to him already.... *bang table*
*bang drawer*
why he so like that...

Me:
sorry i can't even type.. too busy laughing.. please go on!!

Lola:
HANNN looorrrr.. hannnlooorrr

Me:
hannn?

Lola:
actually his mom ask me if i wanna go through..
i also duno go through go through lahh

Me:
go through what

Lola:
DUNNOOO, me just trying out what i hear..

his mother come into picture.. a bit cialat lah..

Me:
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Zaza just came up from behind me saying she could hear me laughing non-stop. I’m telling you.. I’m going to laugh about this for WEEKS!!!
more! more!

Lola:
enough lahhh!
i feel so dirty!
enough of listening in already.
ears and brain tired.
i'm glad you're entertained.

Me:
VERY!!!! this is fucking priceless!

Superman Returns...

...with fond childhood memories for me.

i don't care what everyone else says, i'm watchin it again. and after that, am headin to VideoEzy to rent Superman I-IV.