Celebrating HIS Life
Each time I intend to keep my birthday low-key, it’s just gets bigger and bigger. October 13 is over, but I have at least 2 more get-togethers to go through for the occasion.
Not that I’m not complaining.
But while I’m still in the midst of the festivities, I wish to celebrate someone else’s life.
My Papa.
I was 19 years old, probably back from Toronto for a couple of months before having to head back to Canada, Vancouver.
“Father of the Bride” re-ran on channel 5. he said to me then..
Papa:
Remember we watched this movie a few years ago?
I love this movie.
Me:
So do I. It’s funny.
I love Steve Martin..
And especially Martin Short.. He’s hilarious!!
Papa:
You don’t know girl… it’s more than a comedy. you remember the scene when Steve Martin gave his daughter away in church? There was this monologue in his head…. It is exactly what a father feels when his daughter gets married…
Me:
(Indifferent) Mmm hmmm…
(I happened to catch the movie on tv when I went back to Vancouver, probably a year after he died. When this scene came on, I suddenly remembered it was the one my father spoke about.)
Scene:
Steve Martin about to give her daughter away in church..
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS (internal dialogue):
And left, right. Very nice. Smile now. Right and left. Right and very nice and left. Right. Keep smiling. And left. Hey. This was the moment I'd been dreading for the past six months. Well, actually, for the past years. -
ANNIE BANKS:
Hold on, Dad.
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
Annie overwhelmed me. She was as calm and cool as I'd ever seen her. Very un-Banks-like.
Okay. Here you go.
PRIEST:
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together... in the presence of family, friends and loved ones... for the purpose of uniting in matrimony…
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
All I could think of was the part I had to play. Then suddenly I went blank. I had one line, and I couldn't remember it. When the reverend said, "Who presents this woman?"... was I supposed to say, "That's me," or was it, "l do"?
PRIEST:
Forever hold your peace-
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
I couldn't think. I felt every eye... in the place boring into the back of my neck, waiting for me to screw up. When suddenly, it was upon me.
PRIEST:
And so I now ask... who presents this woman in holy matrimony?
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
I do.
PRIEST:
Annie and Bryan, you have come here today to join your hands-- -
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
"Who presents this woman?"
This woman.
But she's NOT a woman. She's just a kid.
And she's leaving us.
With a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities. I realized at that moment that I was never going to come home again... and see Annie at the top of the stairs. Never going to see her again at our breakfast table... in her nightgown and socks. I suddenly realized what was happening. Annie was all grown up and leaving us.
And something inside began to hurt…
*I remember during Pa's funeral, my uncle came up to me and said, "He couldn't imagine seeing you as an adult.”
and alas, he never did. He died just before I turned 21.
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
You fathers will understand. You have a little girl... an adorable little girl who looks up to you... and adores you in a way you could never have imagined. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine... how she used to love to sit on my lap and lean her head against my chest. She said I was her hero. Then the day comes when she wants to get her ears pierced... and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theatre. Next thing you know, she's wearing eye shadow and high heels. From that moment on you're in a constant state of panic. You worry about her going out with the wrong kind of guys... the kind of guys who only want one thing. And you know exactly what that one thing is... because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then she gets a little older... and you quit worrying about her meeting the wrong guy... and you worry about her meeting the right guy. And that's the biggest fear of all because... then you lose her. And before you know it, you're sitting all alone in a big, empty house... wearing rice on your tux, wondering what happened to your life.
*My uncle also mentioned my Pa said “I could never see her getting married. I can't bear the thought of giving her away."
Well Pa, I’m far from getting married, but i AM 31 now…
and you know what...
I am STILL, and always will be your baby.
Fathers out there, and especially daughters, watch it if you haven't, watch it again if you have...
and try to see beyond the obvious physical comedy.
Don’t let the cast fool you..
At 19, I saw Father of the Bride as a slap-stick movie. However, over the years, it has evolved into a dark one and continues to weigh heavily on my heart...
Not that I’m not complaining.
But while I’m still in the midst of the festivities, I wish to celebrate someone else’s life.
My Papa.
I was 19 years old, probably back from Toronto for a couple of months before having to head back to Canada, Vancouver.
“Father of the Bride” re-ran on channel 5. he said to me then..
Papa:Remember we watched this movie a few years ago?
I love this movie.
Me:
So do I. It’s funny.
I love Steve Martin..
And especially Martin Short.. He’s hilarious!!
Papa:
You don’t know girl… it’s more than a comedy. you remember the scene when Steve Martin gave his daughter away in church? There was this monologue in his head…. It is exactly what a father feels when his daughter gets married…
Me:
(Indifferent) Mmm hmmm…
(I happened to catch the movie on tv when I went back to Vancouver, probably a year after he died. When this scene came on, I suddenly remembered it was the one my father spoke about.)
Scene:
Steve Martin about to give her daughter away in church..
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS (internal dialogue):
And left, right. Very nice. Smile now. Right and left. Right and very nice and left. Right. Keep smiling. And left. Hey. This was the moment I'd been dreading for the past six months. Well, actually, for the past years. -
ANNIE BANKS:
Hold on, Dad.
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
Annie overwhelmed me. She was as calm and cool as I'd ever seen her. Very un-Banks-like.
Okay. Here you go.
PRIEST:
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together... in the presence of family, friends and loved ones... for the purpose of uniting in matrimony…
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
All I could think of was the part I had to play. Then suddenly I went blank. I had one line, and I couldn't remember it. When the reverend said, "Who presents this woman?"... was I supposed to say, "That's me," or was it, "l do"?
PRIEST:
Forever hold your peace-
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
I couldn't think. I felt every eye... in the place boring into the back of my neck, waiting for me to screw up. When suddenly, it was upon me.
PRIEST:
And so I now ask... who presents this woman in holy matrimony?
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
I do.
PRIEST:
Annie and Bryan, you have come here today to join your hands-- -
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
"Who presents this woman?"
This woman.
But she's NOT a woman. She's just a kid.
And she's leaving us.
With a deep realization of its obligations and responsibilities. I realized at that moment that I was never going to come home again... and see Annie at the top of the stairs. Never going to see her again at our breakfast table... in her nightgown and socks. I suddenly realized what was happening. Annie was all grown up and leaving us.
And something inside began to hurt…
*I remember during Pa's funeral, my uncle came up to me and said, "He couldn't imagine seeing you as an adult.”
and alas, he never did. He died just before I turned 21.
GEORGE STANLEY BANKS:
You fathers will understand. You have a little girl... an adorable little girl who looks up to you... and adores you in a way you could never have imagined. I remember how her little hand used to fit inside mine... how she used to love to sit on my lap and lean her head against my chest. She said I was her hero. Then the day comes when she wants to get her ears pierced... and wants you to drop her off a block before the movie theatre. Next thing you know, she's wearing eye shadow and high heels. From that moment on you're in a constant state of panic. You worry about her going out with the wrong kind of guys... the kind of guys who only want one thing. And you know exactly what that one thing is... because it's the same thing you wanted when you were their age. Then she gets a little older... and you quit worrying about her meeting the wrong guy... and you worry about her meeting the right guy. And that's the biggest fear of all because... then you lose her. And before you know it, you're sitting all alone in a big, empty house... wearing rice on your tux, wondering what happened to your life.
*My uncle also mentioned my Pa said “I could never see her getting married. I can't bear the thought of giving her away."
Well Pa, I’m far from getting married, but i AM 31 now…
and you know what...
I am STILL, and always will be your baby.
Fathers out there, and especially daughters, watch it if you haven't, watch it again if you have...
and try to see beyond the obvious physical comedy.
Don’t let the cast fool you..
At 19, I saw Father of the Bride as a slap-stick movie. However, over the years, it has evolved into a dark one and continues to weigh heavily on my heart...
posted by hakuna matata | 8:13 AM
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