"Comfort" Cab Ride

taxi driver:
sheeshorfusorgulor…

Me:
sorry?

taxi driver:
aw! You don’t speak Chinese ah?

Me:
I do.. But not very well..

taxi driver:
you Chinese?

Me:
yes I am.

taxi driver:
you baba ah?

Me:
something like that. i'm nyonya. yes.

taxi driver:
orrrrrrrr!!!!!! Baba don’t say lah.. No good lah like that.. I tell you ah..
(I fell asleep at this point)

5 minutes later...
taxi driver:
you don’t complain ah.. I just tell you, you can call me anytime.. I give you my number.. I cannot afford to date you, but you can call me if you want.. But don’t complain ah! Don’t complain ok!

Me:
(yawn! Eyes still half shut) why? Are there people who complain?

taxi driver:
ah yah.. You don’t know lah.. I very scared people complain one.. You take my number lah. Your name is this one right? You call for the taxi.. Your number is here.

Me:
no, that’s not me.. My friend called for 2 cabs..

taxi driver:
oh.. So what’s your number? I give you my number, you call me lah.. So I have your number.. So that one not your name ah.. What’s your name?

Me:
Mary (sure, like I was going to give him my real name)

taxi driver:
mary ah.. Nice name.. You call me now.
(he gave me his number)

taxi driver:
you call me now

Me:
okok, you take the money first.. (I put the cash on a storage box top next to his seat)

taxi-driver:
call me lah..

Me:
(getting out of the cab at this point) okok, I’m calling (slam!) now!